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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797367">holding on to something</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfCarrotFlowers/pseuds/QueenOfCarrotFlowers'>QueenOfCarrotFlowers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Carrot's Canonverse Fics [27]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fellowship of the Ring, Friends to Lovers, Inspired by Fellowship of the Ring, implied Finn/Poe/Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfCarrotFlowers/pseuds/QueenOfCarrotFlowers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey and Ben arrive at Takodana, Sith holocron in hand, for a meeting that will decide the fate of the Galaxy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Carrot's Canonverse Fics [27]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Let's Go to the Movies - Reylo Readers &amp; Writers Prompt Exchange</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>holding on to something</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelins/gifts">aelins</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a gift for redlondons based on this prompt:</p><p>
  <b>Lord of the Rings AU - With Ben and Rey as Sam and Frodo, doesn't matter who you make the ring bearer but I think it would be cool if Ben was. Doesn't have to be a long fic, could be them clowning around the shire.</b>
</p><p>This could have been huge and epic, but I hope a small slice of a larger story will suffice. I've set it in canonverse, imagining an AU where a Sith holocron serves the same kind of purpose as the One Ring (although the story doesn't go into too much detail about what the holocron actually <i>is</i> - you can use your imagination for now). As requested I have made Ben the bearer, and Rey is his right-hand/best friend/maybe something more. Poe and Finn are kinda-sorta Merry and Pippin (until Poe is Boromir), Maz is a pseudo-Elrond, Chewie acts a bit like Gimli, and everybody else is *waves hands*.  At the request of redlondons, Luke does not appear (although I've given him a bit of a story to explain his absence). I've taken inspiration from the FotR movie for various conversations that happen but it doesn't really follow 100%, and of course there are plenty of references to Star Wars as well. </p><p>redlondons, I had fun writing this and I hope you like it! Thanks so much for the prompt.</p><p>Thanks as always to my beta, flypaper_brain, whose input made this fic 100% better than it would have been without her.</p><p>(One final note: if you're not familiar with the term, <i>quarrel</i> is the name of the thing that shoots out of Chewie's bowcaster.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ship broke out of hyperspace, the broad, verdant curve of Takodana open before them. Maz would be there in her castle, ready to hold court, and Ben expected that others would be joining them there soon. Lando, and Chewie. Maybe Father; Poe thought Mother - he referred to her as The General - would join via holo. And other people Ben didn’t know, coming together to decide what to do about the object in the leather pouch, the one that hung close to his heart. </p><p>It was a Sith holocron, discovered years ago by Ben’s uncle Luke and Lor San Tekka as they traveled back and forth across the Galaxy searching for ancient lore and artifacts. Ben had been a teenager when Luke fell to the dark side and vanished, absconded to worlds unknown, leaving San Tekka to lead the temple school. It had been not long after that San Tekka and Ben had stopped off on Jakku to refuel after another expedition and had stumbled across Rey, skinny and grubby and with a Force signature that shined as bright as the Jakku sun. Ben remembered how small she’d been, how she’d clutched her arms around his neck once she’d given up fighting, crying that her parents were coming back and if they took her away they wouldn’t be able to find her. Ben had been able to see into her memories, and he knew that her parents were gone for good, that they were never coming back. She’d slept in his lap all the way back to the temple, and he’d never really let her go. Rey was grown now, a healthy young woman, and Ben considered her to be his best friend. He knew that she felt the same way. He sometimes wondered if she felt more than that, too, but it never seemed to be the right time or place to breach the subject.</p><p>As Ben maneuvered the ship through the planet’s atmosphere he clutched at the lump under his shirt, swallowing the lump in his throat. Rey, sitting beside him in the co-pilot’s seat, gasped, and he cast a glance at her. She stared out the viewport, eyes wide, lips parted. He took a moment to admire her before he spoke. </p><p>“You all right?”</p><p>“Do you remember, after you picked me up on Jakku and brought me to the Temple, how excited I was by all the green there?”</p><p>Ben nodded - he’d never forget how amazed young Rey had been. “<em>... I didn't know there was this much green in the whole galaxy…</em>” was what she’d said, her face and hands pressed against the window, the words inscribed in Ben’s memory. </p><p>“It just never gets old,” she whispered, with a smile. “Even though it’s been so many years since I set foot in a desert, it’s still ingrained in me. And every time I see a green planet, full of life, I remember what it was like to see it for the first time.” She looked up at him. “I’m excited to be here. To meet Maz, see the castle. Walk in the forest, maybe take a dip in the lake.”</p><p>Ben blushed as he considered that last one. “Let’s hope you never have to set foot on another dead planet again.” He concentrated on steering the ship towards Maz’s castle.</p><p>“How are you guys doing up there?” The voice of Commander Poe Dameron sounded over the com as the other ship came out of hyperspace behind them. “Looking good so far?”</p><p>“Looks good,” Ben confirmed, “and I can see two landing pads next to each other, let’s head down there.”</p>
<hr/><p>The castle was deserted, lacking the usual travelers that marked the castle as a major waypoint. News of the upcoming council must have traveled fast. The main hall was quiet, but Maz, standing on a stool behind the bar, didn’t seem to care.</p><p>“Ben Solo!” The tiny old woman shouted into the silence.</p><p>“Hey, Maz,” Ben replied, embarrassed.</p><p>Lando Calrissian was there, looking sophisticated as ever, having answered the call that General Leia had sent from across the Galaxy. Admiral Amilyn Holdo sat at the bar, dressed in her usual finery with a cup of tea at her elbow, and she nodded at Ben and the others following Maz’s greeting. Lando jumped over and embraced Ben, introduced himself to Rey, Finn, and Poe, and pulled them into a corner booth, peppering them with questions about the Jedi Temple, the well-being of San Tekka and Leia, and their journey so far. Eventually Amilyn and Maz joined them and Ben outlined the basics of their story. Leia had sent Poe and Finn to warn them that the Knights of Ren were searching for a long-lost Sith holocron and would likely be coming to the temple soon, only to be interrupted by the arrival of the Knights themselves. The four of them had left in a rush, with the holocron in hand, and had set a course for Takodana. Unfortunately, they’d been forced to jump between hyperspace lanes and hide on uncharted planets to evade the Knights. They'd even had a few battles, and a few very close calls, but thanks to Rey’s quick thinking they escaped every time. One of the engines on the ship Rey and Ben were flying had been damaged during a scuffle, and would need to be repaired before they could leave. Upon hearing this Maz snapped her fingers and gave the droid who answered her call instructions to check on both ships, and to make any necessary repairs.</p><p>Another droid brought over a tray of food and drinks, and once Ben was finished telling their story they sat in silence, eating and drinking and thinking about what was to come next.</p><p>“I don’t know about you guys,” Finn finally said to his compatriots, “but I’m glad to be here so we can get rid of that thing and all go back home. I’m tired of running, and I like D’Qar. After living on ships for so long I’m ready to go back there.”</p><p>“You just miss Rose,” Poe teased him, knocking him with his shoulder, and Finn blushed. </p><p>“What about you, Ben?” Poe asked, turning to face him. “Are you looking forward to getting back to the temple? Back to your studies?”</p><p>“I suppose,” Ben said, running his thumb through the condensation that coated his glass. “You?”</p><p>Poe shrugged. “I’ve never really had a home, not since I was a kid. Or I guess, home has been wherever the Resistance sent me. So yeah. It’s nice to have a place to go home to.” It was Finn’s turn to knock Poe’s shoulder, and Poe answered him with a grin. </p><p>Poe had been with them for days, but Ben remembered him from childhood; Poe’s parents had fought with Leia and Luke during the Rebellion, and his mother had died valiantly when both boys had been very young. Ben had attended her funeral, but just barely remembered it. He’d climbed an uneti tree, and was left with the distinct impression that Poe hadn’t liked him. Apparently that was all behind them; Poe gave no indication that he remembered Ben at all. He’d arrived at the temple with Finn, who Ben gathered was a former Stormtrooper who had deserted the First Order during a recent battle, and who had quickly shown his new loyalty thanks to Poe; and to someone called Rose, who was a member of the Resistance who was associated with the recent rebellions on the mining planet of Hays Minor. Ben wondered if Rose had anything to do with the charm that Finn wore around his neck, which he would stroke with his thumb sometimes as he sat deep in thought.</p><p>While they talked Rey leaned against Ben, their hands entwined under the table. Ben stroked his thumb gently against her wrist, and heard her sigh every once in a while. Her tiredness was clear on her face, and in the slow pulse of her Force signature, although her signature brightened when Finn started the conversation about going home. </p><p>Ben’s father, Han Solo, and Chewie arrived in the <em>Millennium Falcon</em> just as the sun was setting. Ben accepted his father’s gruff hug and Chewie’s more exuberant one, and blushed at the way Han cocked an eyebrow at him when he introduced them to Rey. Maz received word that Mother wouldn’t be able to attend the meeting the next day after all, not even via holo. The Knights of Ren had been spotted near a hyperspace lane that would lead them right to Takodana, and she was leading an interception. She appointed Poe to act in her stead for the Council. </p><p>Rey and Ben were assigned rooms on opposite sides of the castle. At the temple their rooms were next to each other, and in the ship where they'd spent the last few days they’d dozed side-by-side at the helm and had taken turns napping in the single bunk. It was strange to be so far away from her. Ben laid in bed and stared out his window at the sky, watching the occasional ship fly in, while Finn and Poe chatted and giggled and finally fell into silence in the larger bed across the room. He thought about Rey, wishing she were closer, and felt for the thread of her Force signature. Once he found it he grasped at it, winding his own around it as though he could keep her safe. He imagined he could hear her voice, soft and sweet, and she was chanting his name. <em>Ben, Ben, Ben</em>. He chanted her name, too, in his head and in his heart, and eventually he fell asleep.</p><p>He woke up in the morning to find that several other ships had arrived from various corners of the Galaxy, friends of the Resistance, both old and new, and by the time breakfast was over it was time to gather for the Council. </p><p>Rey bowed out, and so did Finn, both of them claiming to have little to add to such an important meeting. Maz gave them leave to go out of the castle and walk around the lake, providing them both with comm links and blasters, and strict instructions to return to the castle if anything seemed amiss. Amilyn had spent some time with Rey the previous evening, and had loaned her a dress to wear for the day. She was taller than Rey and the dress was too long, falling all the way to the ground; with the assistance of a droid Amilyn pinned the skirt up so Rey wouldn’t trip on it. It was yellow and sleeveless and exposed Rey’s freckled shoulders, and Ben blushed at how much skin was displayed in comparison with the modest Jedi garb she normally wore. He bit back the small burst of jealousy he felt as he watched Finn and Rey skip down the walk towards the forest, wishing he could be with them, too, instead of stuck inside the gloomy castle.</p>
<hr/><p>The forest around Maz’s castle was beautiful, and Rey was glad to be in it, but she wished that Ben could be with them, too. Not that Finn was a poor companion; on the contrary, he was delightful, funny and warm and open, full of stories about his time with the First Order, and with the Resistance. Under different circumstances, Rey thought, they might have been great friends.</p><p>“I can’t believe you met Poe on Jakku,” Rey laughed as Finn finished up the tale of his defection. </p><p>“Why is that so funny?” Finn followed her down a ravine, catching her arm just as she was about to trip on the hem of Amilyn’s dress.</p><p>“Thank you. Because that’s where I’m from. It’s where Ben and Master San Tekka found me.”</p><p>“Found you? What do you mean?”</p><p>Rey relayed the tale as they walked along the dim ravine, hemmed in by steep cliffs. How she’d been on Jakku scavenging, just a youngling sold to a junk boss by her parents so they could buy drink. How Ben had found her hiding in a corner of the tent. How he’d recognized the strength of her Force sensitivity, and how he’d carried her, kicking and screaming, into the strange craft. How much better everything was, after.</p><p>“I thought my parents had left me for safekeeping, but later - much later - Ben helped me use the Force to uncover memories I’d forgotten.”</p><p>“It sounds like Ben’s done a lot for you,” Finn said. She blushed at his grin.</p><p>“I suppose he has,” she said, and checked on Ben again, catching the thread that connected them in the Force, through which she could gauge his emotions, and occasionally even hear his voice. She wasn’t sure how it worked or what it was, but it was different from her connection with any other person. Other people she could sense in the Force, but her connection with Ben was stronger, somehow. It was pure. Sometimes, if she meditated very deeply, it felt like they were the only two people in the Galaxy. She had no idea what it was, or what it might mean, and she and Ben had never discussed it. She wasn’t even sure if he felt it, too.</p><p>The air was cool in the forest, scented by large yellow and blue flowers that draped the branches of the towering trees. The two emerged from the ravine and walked silently for a while, Rey touching the trunk of each tree they passed, concentrating on Ben’s emotions. He had grown nervous, anxious, not soon after Rey and Finn had left the castle; Rey suspected that marked the start of the Council. His anxiety spiked around the time she’d started telling Finn her story, and then he was calm - Rey wondered what that meant, but if he was calm it could only be something good. They had just turned to start walking back to the lake when a spike of pain lashed in her mind, and she fell to the ground, clutching her head. Finn fell down, too, but recovered much more quickly than she did.</p><p>“Kriff! What was that?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Rey said, rolling to her knees and accepting his hand as he helped to pull her to her feet. “Something in the Force.”</p><p>“Something bad?”</p><p>Rey reached through the thread to Ben again, and found him shaken but apparently unhurt. </p><p>“Bad,” Rey said, hurrying her steps. “But not terrible. Come on, Finn. We should get to the ships and see how the repairs are going. I don’t think I want to stay here for much longer after all.”</p>
<hr/><p>After the Council adjourned, Ben excused himself to go look for Rey. He found her and Finn down by the lake, where the ships were being worked on; they’d apparently grown tired of wandering the grounds.  Finn was helping the droids with the repairs while Rey loaded provisions in preparation for the journey home.</p><p><em>Home</em>. Ben’s heart sank as he walked up to where Rey was crouched on the ground, the pretty skirt of her dress flowing over the dirt, shoving packages of nutrient paste and portion bread from Maz’s ration boxes into her pack. As he came closer he could hear her talking to herself. </p><p>“Now, what have I forgotten? Food, water—”</p><p>“New dress?”</p><p>Rey looked up in surprise, a pink flush across her cheeks. “That’s a nice idea but I don’t think the Admiral is going to let me keep the dress. How was the Council?”</p><p>“It was fine. How was your walk?”</p><p>She wrinkled her nose in annoyance. “Don’t change the subject. I felt what happened - there was a tremor or something in the Force. What was that?”</p><p>“Oh, that. Chewie decided he was going to try to destroy the holocron with his bowcaster.”</p><p>She released a bark of laughter. “Oh dear. I don’t suppose it worked?”</p><p>“No such luck. The quarrel shattered when it hit the thing, and the holocron didn’t so much as crack.” </p><p>“Did Poe suggest using the holocron? I wondered if he might, given what he said when we were stuck on Vosu.”</p><p>“He did. I knew he would, too. But the Council shot him down pretty quickly.” Before she could reply Ben nodded at her bag. “You’re packing already?”</p><p>Rey's lips turned up into a slightly embarrassed smile. “No harm in being prepared.”</p><p>Ben took a step back and glanced off over the lake, towards the castle looming on the other side of the water. “I thought you wanted to see Takodana?”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“More than anything.”</p><p>“I did! I just… we did what Master San Tekka wanted, didn’t we? We got the holocron to Maz. And I thought, since the ship’s being mended, and you all had that Council to figure out what happens next, we’d be off soon. Back to the temple. Back home.”</p><p>Nervous, Ben reached his hand to his chest, where the holocron still hung in the leather pouch under his shirt, over his heart. Rey’s eyes tracked the movement, and narrowed with suspicion.</p><p>“You still have it. Why do you still have it? I thought you were going to give it to Maz.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears, that she tried but failed to blink away. Ben lowered himself to his knees beside her and pushed the bag away before gathering her in his arms and pulling her into his lap.</p><p>“It needs to be taken to Exegol, so it can be destroyed. That's where it was made, and it’s the only place it can be destroyed. There’s a fellowship, formed during the meeting. Dad, Chewie, Poe, Jannah - she’s with a group of stormtroopers who defected. Some other people. And I…" This was the hard part, the part that mattered. He pushed through. "I’m part of it, too; I’m going to Exegol. I’m carrying the holocron.” It wasn't a decision he'd wanted to make, but he was proud of himself for making it. He hoped that Rey would understand, but her response surprised him.</p><p>“Then I’m going with you,” Rey said, determined. “I won’t let you go without me.”</p><p>“But, the temple. I thought you wanted to go home.”</p><p>Rey lifted her hand to stroke his cheek. “It’s not home without <em>you</em>, Ben. I want to be with you, no matter where you go. Do you think I left the temple with you out of a sense of loyalty to the cause?”</p><p>“I… I did. I thought that’s why you came.” Ben’s heart was drawn tight, so tight he was afraid it might snap. Did he dare to think she meant what he thought she meant?</p><p>Rey smiled, her eyes focused on her finger as she pressed it against his bottom lip. He gasped at the contact, more intimate than he was used to. Her lips twitched in amusement before turning serious, her eyes gazed into his.</p><p>“Ben. There is good in the Galaxy, and it’s worth fighting for. That’s true. But I left with you because I want to be where you are. You’re my home, and you always have been. I hope your fellowship has room for one more, because if you’re going to Exegol, I’m going with you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Ben said, the tightness in his chest relaxing into something softer. “I didn’t know.”</p><p>“Is it all right?” Rey’s face fell. “I thought… I thought you felt that way too. About me. But if—”</p><p>“I feel it too,” Ben said quickly, interrupting her. She gazed up at him with such fondness that he didn’t pause before closing the space between them and pressing his lips against hers. He’d never kissed someone before, and he didn’t think that Rey had either, but it hardly mattered. Her lips were soft and she sighed as her mouth moved against his, her fingers twining gently through the hair that fell over his ears. A tentative beginning gave way to something more certain, and they stayed like that until a clatter from behind the nearest ship reminded them that they weren't alone. With another sigh Rey pulled away, her eyes flitting from Ben’s mouth to focus on his eyes.</p><p>“Good,” Rey said, smiling. “So it’s decided that I’m coming with you. Wherever you go.”</p><p>“Wherever we go,” Ben answered. For once in his life he was certain. They held each other close and looked across the water. Whatever the future might hold, they would be in it together. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In her story <i><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/15947189">sic transit gloria mundi</a></i>, voicedimplosives imagines Ben and Poe meeting as children during Shara Bey's funeral, and I've borrowed from that for their backstory here. Please go read it if you hadn't, it's so beautiful, I tear up just thinking about it.</p><p>The title is from <a href="https://www.edgestudio.com/node/34200">the wonderful monologue that Samwise Gamgee has in <i>The Two Towers</i></a>. (<a href="https://youtu.be/k6C8SX0mWP0">Video on YouTube</a>)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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